Nice, T. You did it. You put up appropriate boundaries without anger.
Note how H was trying to be nice to you by thanking you for the ticket. You created distance and, as a result, he took a step closer. There might just be something to that pursuit/distance concept, huh?
This is the dynamic we've been trying to describe to you. However, don't expect it as a short term solution and don't expect it to be consistent. We've got an eye on the long term, and so should you. Do not be surprised that every time H takes a step toward you he self-corrects, afterward. Don't worry about it. Expect it, and keep an eye on the long term.
Honestly, I cannot recommend the book mentioned in the pursuit/distance thread to you enough. There's about a 10 page description of the dynamic that would be very helpful for you to read.
You are dropping the rope, and while you don't care about his choices, you can still love him and observe him from a distance while you emotionally protect yourself.
To top it all off, H experienced many natural consequences of his choices last night. He had to drive himself, he didn't get to sit next to you as if everything were fine, he faced awkward situations with others where he had to understand how his choices might look to other people (if only for a moment), and his sons didn't want to ride home with him. He's getting a taste of the reality of his choices.
