Like you, sophene, I used to jump quickly to solutions, and talking and fixing. It has been a tough road to retrain myself but slowly I have...I recommend the 'do nothing' for an hour/a day/a week principle along with the STFU smoothie used by others here and the constant mantra 'I don't know'.
You said your H wants to 'extend' the divorce process? What does that mean? What is the impact of that on you and your kids? What do you want?
PS You're not a failure as a wife, or anything else. You've made some mistakes or not done some things the way you wish you had. Doesn't make you a failure, just comes along with being a human and all that x
Me: 53 H:38 T:20 M:14 BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression S 1/16 PA 4/16 H filed 1/17
