Trying to detach from WTF world

[Treasur]

I think that's a fair point, juju. I guess, with a compassionate eye, everyone has their breaking point and deals with tough times differently. In our case, we had a year before BD of illness, loss and work stress. Both of us were struggling. Something in my H just broke.

Rose-coloured glasses? I think that's partly true, partly not. When you love someone and you're in a long-term relationship, you give them the benefit of the doubt. You know they have faults, as you do, but you enjoy the good which far outweighs that. Over time, maybe that does tint our view. At the same time, NOTHING in my experience of almost 20 years of my H (and everyone else who knew him was as shocked as me!) could have foreseen this s***storm. It is as if he became almost the exact opposite of who he had been and lots of crazy stuff that wasn't even in his best interests. For me, that has been the most difficult thing and why it is so clearly the kind of identity crisis and immaturity that goes with MLC.

It does feel as if they discard us because we're no longer doing the 'job', doesn't it? I've wondered sometimes if part of my STBXH is angry with me that I couldn't 'save' him somehow, that our M wasn't enough. But then as we all know...a) not sure anyone should base a life on the thought processes of an MLCer!, and b) it truly is about them...or as you say the weather!