Finding my way in the dark - Part 2

[Holding]

Thanks, Acc!

I was intending to go and just keep it short, maybe leave early. I was going to drive myself so I could leave if it got awkward. W and sons had already left for BIL's house, and I said I'd meet them. So I got all dressed and ready to go, got my shoes on, and then just sat there and stared at the floor. And then I lost it.

I realized it was too much for me to bear. I just couldn't do it. I knew I wouldn't be able to sit there and pretend like we're all happy, when I'm about to tell my kids tonight. I don't know what kind of effing robot my W is that she can do that!

So I had a good cursing and screaming fit all alone at home for a while.

I'll probably lose it too when she comes back with the boys and we have the talk. I don't know how I can do this.