Budding

[mustardseed]

I'm feeling some anxiety over my financial future. Rent is going up again. My work is satisfying and paying the bills, but there I no longer am covered by Ex's health insurance and I can't afford to pay for the marketplace options. I have a spot on my face that I need to get checked out but I'm scared to. If it is something I don't know if I want to spend the money to take care of it so I'd rather not know.

My parents are not happy with my stance on that. Even my dad who rarely worries about things and complains about having to go to the doctor--would avoid them all together if my mother didn't make him go--commented about how I need to get it checked out. I should have done it while I was still covered but I couldn't find the time. And I'm realizing I need a job with insurance. It's time to start looking forward and setting goals again. I am passed the transitioning phase and now I have to look forward again, but I am having trouble being clear on my goals.

I noticed I am worrying a lot again and sinking into my old immature habits of ignoring rather than dealing. Not good. The thing that broke me of that was going to church and giving my fears to God so that I could clear my head enough to do what was in my power to do. I haven't been to church in a while and maybe it's time to make time for that again.