I know weekends are low traffic here, but I could really use some opinions if anyone is reading.

Spoke to my L yesterday. My options are: respond to their claims (L said I'd deny all of them) and then counterfile, where I get to tell my version of events, OR to try to respond awkwardly to their last paltry offer with a dollar amount.

My L assures me that if it goes to court, all of the evidence I have that this was all his choice, and he created a hostile environment will be admissible. L laughed at their claim that I'd left and stopped paying the mortgage, saying "They neglected to mention that he's LIVING THERE", so that makes me feel better.

He tells me court will be expensive. But if I counterfile, it's possible that could cause them to make me an offer.

I'm not sure what to do, here.

Part of me is craving the idea that I'd be heard if I counter-filed. He'd have to read my story.

I am under no impression that it would impact him, but he is so self-focused and driven to make sure that I'm the only one who is impacted negatively by his own choices that it is absurd. His claims seem to make sure he recovers every dollar he spent, and though he has my contributions included after he lists what he contributed, he then asks the judge to award him what he spent in full, and if there is anything left over, to split it between us. He also seems to imply he wants the court to ask me to pay his attorney's fees, as well as the costs to sell the home.

Even if I did think that his proposal was fair, there won't be anything left over when the house was sold. We bought a fixer upper and it was on the market for a long time. We planned to live there for 5-7 years and make upgrades a little bit at a time.

So I could respond, explaining my side of things, and include the "offers" he made where he tried to trick me into signing away my interest in the property, as well as his other offers, none of which approach the amount that I contributed. I can, hopefully, make it clear that the short duration of home ownership was his choice, that he ended the relationship, and seems to want only me to bear the financial costs of the choices he made.

So he's still focused on punishing me and I'm still not sure why. It's clear he's still irrational and angry.

I know I can't say for sure, but I am more certain this is a MLC. He was always a kind and sweet man, who loved me a lot but also repressed a great deal of pain. And I think it all emerged, and he decided that I was at fault for how he felt. I think the debt of the house purchase was a trigger for him, though both of us were in better financial shape owning the home than not owning the home, because we also got rental income for our separate properties.

It's clear that the man that I remember is gone, possibly for good, and has been replaced by this irrational punitive person. I'm certain he is still arrogant, thinking that I'm delaying a sale so we can get back together. That's not true. Thinking of that house causes me feelings of trauma; I don't think there's any going back in the short term. In reality, I just want a fair offer.

However, I did enjoy being with him. My family is absolutely shocked, and seemed to be holding onto hope we'd work it out, because they saw how happy I was. So I also want to protect any possibility of, perhaps, someday working through this, if the previous version of him ever returns.

So I also struggle with counterfiling, as I know that one of the reasons he needs to get away from me so badly is to avoid feeling shame. Unfortunately, he was taught by his narc mother that men cannot be angry and still be good people, and he is still holding onto that value very tightly. I believe he sacrificed our relationship because otherwise he'd have to face that he has a great deal of anger, so he has to get rid of the evidence. Whereas I feel his anger is totally justifiable, given how his parents failed him. I don't agree that it is okay for it to be projected onto me, though. Counter-filing would be putting his actions in black and white, thus increasing his shame.

Ugh. I don't know what to do. I don't want to take his money and not sell the home; I just wanted a reasonable offer. Not getting one makes it look like I'm delaying, and I never was.