You and your children are not losers in this game. You were loyal and committed. Your husband is not.
The problem is that you cannot make your husband do what he should be doing. No begging, no rationalizing with him, no yelling at him, no guilt tripping. All that will do is bring you down. Trust me, you need to move forward now with your pride intact. And I know how hard that is when your emotions are all over the place. You are angry, and most rightfully so. But also its so foreign for someone to leave the way he did, that you can't help but blame yourself. For not being a perfect wife and perhaps for taking your relationship for granted. Am I right?
Well, I want to remind you that marriage is hard, people get distracted with kids and jobs. Especially when the kids are young. And when a spouse chooses to break his vows and committment, for their own selfish reasons (and that's really what this ends up being about) , please, please don't fall for the crap rationalization and gaslighting they put on you.
All you can do is focus on yourself and your children, and by doing so you guys will come out as the winners.
My advise is to get through this day by day. Like giving up carbs..."it's 3 days and no calls to husband. 4 days and no calls to husband" Write it out for us here.
Figure out what your best moves are legally. He only cares about protecting himself. He was smart to file. And that shows you how it is all about him and that he is putting himself first. You need to do the same. Especially if you guys have shared debt. Very scary stuff and hard to face, but it's imperative.
These beginning stages suck. They really do. There's nothing you can do but move through it. It does get better. Time slowly heals and you won't always feel like this. Vent here. Treat yourself nicely. And maintain your pride.
