On Higher Ground

[HaWho]

Thanks Roist, Job, Brubeck and Ownit. I appreciate all the input.

So we went away. H had booked an adjoining room and when kids asked who was sleeping where h said he was bunking up w/s13 as they are both night owls. Last year when we went to this same place h asked to have his own room so at least this year he was willing to share his space.

Just noting for those who travel with MLCers (poor saps like me): when we go back to where we used to live h always wants to share a bed. But, in other locations he wants to be alone.

At times he understood humor. At times he did not. Several times he mentioned wanting to go back to his "cave" aka "the dorm room." There were a lot of silences between us. Not a lot to talk about as at times he was about as interesting as iceberg lettuce.

At one point he told me he and his brother discussed giving his mother money each month. He told me that his brother said he needed to discuss it with his wife. So h said "so I decided to discuss it with you. It only took me 20 years to discuss this kind of stuff with you."

He was never one to run things by me. I was okay with it as he never really did anything crazy and I agreed with his decisions anyway.

I told him he's a good son, which he really is. He is a better son than she is a mother. She's lucky.

The whole thing was odd though given just a few weeks ago he told me his life was none of my business and vice versa. Plus he told me no more financial discussions when I questioned him on savings. Now he's filling me in on financial decisions like we're the Cleavers.

At times he brought up his childhood. He re-told a few stories, all dysfunctional. He said his mom ruined his childhood. Then he glossed over it saying she was a nice woman now and it was no big deal. I told him it was a big deal and it's okay it was a big deal. It's hard to hear. I find it impossible to talk to her anymore. He talked about his dad too, who only reached out to h when it benefitted him. Sad.

Other than that he steers clear of me. I come in, he walks out. He set up a summer schedule with the kids: chores and academic things they need to do. He does enforce it. That's different from last summer.

I took the day off today and enjoyed myself. I am taking another personal day next week. And I do plan on taking a longer break away per the recommendation of Job and Bttrfly.

Most days I don't think of h much. Sometimes while I am at work he texts me something about the kids and I think "oh yeah, him."