The hurt part was the knowledge of finding out the sex of the babies. I worry that now she knows nothing genetically was wrong with them if shes blaming herself for this? I would never blame her for this as its nobodies fault but I've never actually said those words to her. I wanted to call her back that day to tell her that but she wouldn't pick up and texted me saying she didn't wanna talk right now. I texted her back saying I wanted to tell her something about the babies when the miscarriage happened and she replied that its too late for whatever I have to say. That kinda hurt but Its true I should've consoled her better at the time and reassured her that it wasn't her fault.
She knew I was gonna call her but it was only a quick text asking her to call me I had news about the genetic report but that was still short notice.
You're right I am backing way off for the most part but with that news it just really hit me hard. Seems every time I bring something emotional up to her she pulls way back and fires back with something about this M ending so I'm sure its her guard going up farther each time. It's been two months and i know yall say don't believe anything she says at this point but she says shes already moved on with it all so IDK how things can get better with MORE time but im dropping the rope.... I have to for my own sanity. This emotional roller coaster is too much and I have to GAL more and relax and take it for whichever way it comes.
First, I'm very sorry for your miscarriages.
But it's important you understand (and I can't tell if you do) that not having anything genetically wrong is not the same as healthy or viable. Ruling out genetic issues just means there were the right number of chromosomes (and possibly that they looked for some known genetic markers of certain diseases).
It seems weird that if you thought knowing the genetic results would make it more likely she would blame herself, that you took it upon yourself to give her that information unprompted.
Clearly, you deserve to be supported in your grief, but it's just as clear that your wife is not the person to be doing that right now. Do you have a counselor to help you work through this?
As for time improving things--it might, if you actually give her time and space. Until you do that, it probably won't help.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
