Yes I feel confused because my family just wants whats best for the boys but I don't feel like what's best for them always aligns with what's best for me so I struggle there. My mom and dad have only talked to H once and that was just recently, prior to that for the first 4 months or so nothing was said to him. My uncle and he are pretty close and what he says to him is on his own accord with what little knowledge he has of the situation, which is just that he moved out.
Yes, the steroids mess with his mind and he started them in early May right after the baby was born, that's when he becamse more quiet/distant/secretive but who knows if it was coincidental, I haven't put much thought into it besides recognizing he may have 'roid rage' lol
Hi Sandi,
Umm so regarding last night or the goodnight in general. I didn't look at is blackmail, I just thought it would be polite in front of the boys and I wouldn't do it otherwise, but if you think it's bad then I won't do it and I will leave the room when he comes in to say goodnight. The only issue is that the boys sleep in bed with me now and we watch a movie together every night before bed. H stays on the couch during this time and there is no set time that I can anticipate him coming to the bedroom. Normally, I had been sending the boys out there around 10pm to say goodnight so that he didn't have to come in my room. However, the last few nights he has been coming in here himself before that.. but I will just start sending them out there earlier.
I didn't say anything to S9 because I don't really know why. He knows H doesn't do that, I have had the talk with both the boys about what is going on so they both know these things and don't ask about him coming places with us anymore. They really don't ask about him at all TBH. S9 remembers last time, so he has distanced himself from H. S6 greets H at the door and will spend time with him if H asks.
So I will continue doing what I'm doing and not acknowledging H. I already said something to S9 last night about not saying stuff like that to H and I reminded S6 the same thing because he was laying in bed with us when we talked about it.
And yes, I definitely believe someone is advising him I just don't know that he's gotten legal representation yet, but I could be wrong. I made a couple of phone consults for next week. As soon as I get the clear of telling him he's not welcome here as long as it won't hurt me for custody purposes I am going to do it.
I still feel super torn about tomorrow and no closer to my decision.
