Ugh, kind of spinning today, not in an emotional way but more of stress/what if thoughts.
The big soccer game is tomorrow night, it hasn't been discussed but I know H assumes he's going. He asked me last week, isn't that soccer game next Saturday, I just replied yup.
My dad thinks he should come - which then we got into a little tift because I'm like you told him his life wouldn't be this way so why are you telling me I should allow him to come? I feel so confused.
H has started the last few days leaving his laundry in our family laundry basket. This is something he hasn't done since BD in March. He kept it separate, even after he moved out he kept it in his truck, now the last few nights I found his clothes in there and my dad even did them and folded them all. Point being, I don't care but now when I'm at school and my dad is here at the house he's doing H's laundry. Like really?so basically I feel like it's showing H that my dad's words of this won't be his life aren't being shown to him. Sure buddy, just go out all night, come here whenever you want, we will do your laundry and hell you can even come to the soccer game with us.
I know I am just ranting because I'm frustrated in this moment and am questioning my decision. Do I just allow him to come for the boys sake? I am genuinely asking because I was certain on not inviting him, I had already even asked one of the boy's friends to come but they ended up buying their own tickets at the last minute.
Anyway, I recognize my spiraling (Cadence haha)
Just feel like he is you know whatting all over me and I felt like the soccer game was going to be me finally standing up that he won't participate in family activities and now I am second guessing myself because my family all thinks I should just let him go and put my differences aside for the boys since we bought these tickets a long time ago and planned to go together.
I don't know what the right decision is anymore...
I wish I did, I just want to do what's best for the boys
