Trying to detach from WTF world

[Teppo]

I seem to have hit a funny second wind of grief (or 500th!) as I'm working hard to build my detaching muscles. I just miss my H. The sound of his voice, his smell, the feeling of him in another room. I think this is the first time I've cried in months. I thought I would always be able to reach out and feel his hand.

I know my H is not available anymore. Sometimes I worry that I'll forget what he looked like before he became Mr Depressed Shark Eyes. He isn't available because he's lost himself or he's fine with the OW and happy. It doesn't matter really. His absence is the same.

I think I'm grieving again because I love him, and I hate what has happened to him, and there is nothing I can do about it. And, more than just detaching, I know I have to choose to go dark for my own survival really.

I know some of you know how hard this path is and how hard it is to keep doing things which are hard to do when you're tired. I just miss my husband's face.

Treasur,

I'm sorry you feel this way. My W told me only yesterday that she has filed for D and I'm already starting to miss my family. I hate this feeling and can't wait for time to heal my wounds. Like you, I'll miss my W's voice, her smell, the feeling of her in another room, the smell of dinner cooking and being called to the table, and just growing old together. As a counter balance, I have to remind myself that she's having an EA (I know it's a symptom of our failed M)and continues to believe that she hasn't done anything wrong to lead us to where we are.

I truly feel for you as I feel that same. Try to stay strong. I'm so glad I've found this forum. Had I not, I would be pursing her like mad to win her back, but I don't. I'm GALing the hell out of my life and it really works! I don't care if my W notices, I'm just having fun as it takes my mind off the D. Also, my S and I are super close, so we always do fun things together.

Take care,
Teppo