You sound like you're doing well generally although you have been on this journey a long time and that scares the life out of me. I don't believe you were conned for 20 years it's MLC and he is now a different person to the one that was your H the same as mine. All the evidence says 2-7 years and that's if they ever come out of it.
Have a lovely weekend SJ x
Me 46 H 39 M 11 T 14 S 10 DO 8 ILYBNILWY 11.06.17 Separate rooms 11.06.17 ILW OW A ongoing 12.06.17 Kicked H out 23.6.17 H came home 20.8.17
