WW claims ended A...where to go from here?

[25yearsmlc]

Sorry but I cannot recall your ages now. And no kids, right?

(If you can add a few basics to your signature block in your profile, they'll be reminders to us of your backstory so we don't confuse yo with other posters. The more details that fit the signature, the easier for us to give appropriate support).

I should also add, just as a nice extra, she admits to unprotected sex with her A's....this is unbelievable...

and today she's frustrated because I'm not really talking to her so she uses this line of "what do you want me to do to make your life easy?"


yet, even with all of this, I would take her back (and maybe many of you would say I'm a fool for this)...at least make an attempt...because we never even made a solid attempt together to work on our issues...it's true that she possibly has had the A's to force me to end the M and this must be considered...

but either way^^^ if you never directly addressed your issues, AND OR she is having "exit" affair(s), you yourself would benefit by learning to speak to this,^^^

and by GAL and moving forward with or without your w.

Do you have a therapist or counselor (for you individually, not as a couple)? I would strongly suggest you get one asap

not b/c there is something "wrong" about you - but b/c you need tools for this crap in real life.

Also, no one HERE is going to call you a fool for wanting to reconcile. This is a pro marriage support site.

IT is NOT a "save your m at all cost" site, however. Remember that. Saving yourself is always going to be the first step but some people cannot or will not do that

and the rub is, that some don't see how their inability to show self care, also relates to their ability to get respect and love in a healthy way.
In other words

the very thing that paralyzes them from doing what they need to do (b/c they are afraid to lose their spouse)

is what got them here in the first place. Sometimes people let their fears get so powerful that they bring about the very result they feared in the first place.



the crazy thing is prior to meeting her, I had a very high sex drive...but I don't believe she did...it's possible her body has changed now....

but I guess I want to know what is a major way to send her the message how I feel and what I expect from her

^^^words calmly expressed, with action that is consistent with the words. It is not complicated. I didn't say it was "easy" but it is pretty simple.


....but without forcing her into a drastic change like "that's it...it's over", etc....should I tell her to leave for the weekend??...or move out?...get tested for STD's immediately?

...this is crazy

I'm not sure what you think you can control in HER. How can you "force her into a drastic change"??

You only control you.

the rest of this is you spinning