Same Sitch. New Approach... Feeling Good (part 2)

[Chris73]

Why do you want to support your w as she goes down her path? Why are you writing an apology letter?

These are hard questions to answer honestly.

To me "supporting" her means being the lighthouse. I've been very angry with her over the past 2 months. I'm not as detached as I would like to be. I often find myself lost in thought about things she did or said and I have to take the time to snap myself out of it.

But there are times when all of this anger temporarily washes away and I try to see the situation from her perspective. She's having a difficult time right now. She has serious issues that she needs to face but has chosen to distract herself (this time) by running away from the MR. No one can convince her of this fact, not even her IC. If she's ever going to come out of her tunnel it will be on her own. As much as I want to, I know that I can't rescue her. But I'm trying my best to keep my light on so that she can see the path back to safety if/when she chooses to look for it. I don't know if my light can stay on forever, but I'm not ready to turn it off yet.

The apology letter is the very last thing on my list of leaving "no stone unturned". There are a lot of things that I did to contribute to where we are now and I've come to terms with them. I think she would appreciate knowing the details of what I've discovered through my soul searching. I think it would show her that despite everything that's happened, I understand how my actions made her feel.