You weren't even challenging the sale of the home so is it worth hiring two sets of lawyers to argue over a little equity in a recently purchased home?
Exactly. I have not stood in his way, but apparently my communication that invited them to make another offer was viewed that way. Just another thing to add to the list of the ways Cadence is oppressing him, I guess.
I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than "a little bit of equity".
His downpayment is at stake and so he contributed more than I did. He took no steps to define how the proceeds of a sale would be split. There is no written nor verbal contract.
He breached our verbal contract that we'd be together and living there for 5-7 years, while I made payments. Our contributions would not have been unequal had he not breached the contract. Though I was not thrilled with him, I saw purchasing the home as a commitment; he didn't. He did not want to try to resolve anything, he just wanted to get away from me and punish me for how he was feeling.
His decision to sell is also taking away rental income from me and made me homeless. My property taxes on the condo I own (but cannot live in) have gone up, as I am not able to claim tax relief for the property. I had to claim it on the house I am not living in. I will be paying this increased rate until next August, at the earliest.
I really can't tell you the WTFness of a man who created a crisis out of thin air, screaming at me about how he needs his "down payment back" less than a year after purchasing a home together with 50/50 ownership. He has thought there was an "undo" button of some sort.
Before I moved out, he tried tricking me by saying things like "You know, it would be a lot easier for you if you wanted to sign the deed over to me. That way you could move and not have to worry about the sale." I told him over my dead body would I sign over the deed but remain on the mortgage. He does not see me as a rightful co-owner. He sees himself as the owner and me as an obstacle.
He's then submitted nothing but laughable offers. (Absolutely nothing, a percentage that diminished the longer the house remained on the market (and his increased), and $5,000 which is less than my contribution.) Just more evidence that I'm nothing and his emotionally abusive ex-wife is his real partner. They were able to D using mediators, but that was probably because he's always wanted to keep her happy with him. Despite all her ridiculous clingy harassments, he'd never let himself be angry with her.
It all came out on me and completely ripped the rug out from under me. These were all his decisions.
Now the summons also states how much I contributed, but they are asking the court to ensure all of his money goes back to him, and if there is anything left over, he and I will split it. He has no concern for the equity I paid into the home. It is also implied that he wants the judge to have me pay his attorney's fees and the costs of selling the home.
So it's a bit more complex. I've always been open to resolving it outside of court (but with my L, because H is not rational and remains angry and punishing in his attitude), but he's not given me anything to work with other than trying to ensure he is made whole, and I am not, even though this was all his doing. If he were rational and understood that the whole "I bought this house for you and you failed to keep me happy 24/7, so I am taking it all back" isn't based on real life, then we could work it out.
I don't know. It will be interesting to see what my attorney says we can submit. It may get ugly as I do have some evidence about the hostile environment he created. I also may be able to get a statement from our MC, who witnessed his anger and total refusal to work on the R, and was also witness to my decision that I'd move out and I'd have to stop contributing. H was well aware of that and did not object.
I really wish I didn't get this bomb dropped on me at 4:50pm yesterday, so I didn't get to speak with my attorney. I'm circling around and around, worried that the flat facts of the case make it look like I left and was after his money, and wondering how much of the actual story will be admissible.
I do not recognize this man. I'm an intuitive person, and he would not have been able to hide this anger and rage from me for years. He takes emotional abuse from his mother, ex-wife, and his kids (who unknowingly imitate their mother to push back when he asks them to do something) and doesn't get angry or hold them responsible. But me, who treated him the best, and wanted him to want to improve his life with the crazies, got a crazy in return. Prior to that he was kind, loving, and affectionate.
The anger and hatred were really something else, and I'm dismayed to see it's likely still there, with his lingering belief that he can just take it all back and, if he can't, it's because I'm standing in his way. He most likely thinks I am preventing the sale and I'm doing it because I want to R, so he's still got an eye toward preventing me from controlling him in that way (I'm not) and punishing me accordingly.
Sorry for the long vent. I woke up with puffy eyes, but have shifted toward more angry than sad.
