My mood has really plummeted. I feel scared and also incredulous.
There had been long silences in negotiations, and, silly me, I'd started to hope that he was maybe having second thoughts. I knew all along, I shouldn't. But I did. I started thinking that maybe he missed me, and was torn about what to do. And maybe I'd hear from him. I know I did that to myself, and it's hard to admit it, but I definitely did it.
But it's still the same old "I need to be away from you so badly that I'll financially handicap myself to do so, and blame you for all of it."
Sigh. I could really use a boost if anyone's out there. I'm sitting around crying, but what I'm most concerned about is that I'm questioning myself and feeling guilty. And also feeling angry that making me fearful and confused is probably the reaction he wanted, and it's working.
