Thanks for stopping by Bttrfly. I know what you mean about xw not missing me if she's around. I also wonder how to reconnect if you don't see one another. IDK maybe seeing each other every other week works both ways. I really don't know what I'm doing. Once the kids go back to school it will be minimal. I'm doing okay not letting her insanity affect me too much (well maybe not after rereading this because I'm wrk into about her lol) and actually calming her down through my actions, although I did have a few days of spinning a couple weeks ago. She's always been a bull in a china shop but it's different since MLC, she gets fired up so easily and maybe there is a little paranoia mixed in there (e.g. FedEx guy didn't steal your bed - calm down, driving crazy flipping people the bird). Other times she seems fine. I guess it's the depression and stress.
Just updating and journaling again. IDK why but when I asked about the kids schedule for the 4th she said they could just go with me (it was her turn this year). She said she was just going to go to old town w/her dog and hang out (she tells me where/what she is doing a lot now - doesn't matter because IDK if I can believe it). I left town and when I came back w/the kids she said she stayed at my house w/her dog and didn't do anything. She slept on the couch even though there were four beds. It's weird she told me I could take the kids on her turn. I didn't ask anything about her time and the kids and I had a great 4th. It was hard though.
I'm wondering if there is some bipolar pd coming into play. She was all giddy talking 100 mph just before the 4th. Then last week when she came to pick up the kids I had to talk to her about financial stuff w/the car and she stood in the kitchen and cried. I believe it was real because she was trying to hold it in and hide it. I calmly told her "I'm not mad at you but I'm not happy about the situation" which made it worse. She was trying really hard not to cry for quite awhile. A couple days later and she seemed normal, not acting giddy or depressed and making eye contact (they don't look so vacant like before). Last week she would eat leftovers if I had already ate with the kids or ate with us, always complimenting what I made. She had a big event at her work this weekend and asked if she could use the grill because their budget didn't allow a new one (there are six people at her office). I was surprised by this but said that was fine, and really I don't care. She came and got it that morning and said she would really like it if I stopped by with the kids. I didn't really want to but the kids were excited so we went. Her boss came and visited w/me, saying how much she hears about me (in a good way). I know she stuck her head in a few days ago to just to see me when I picked up the kids from W over my lunch too. I thought this was a little different, I wonder what xw talks about because I know I was enemy #1 to her and her old boss at her last job. Anyway, I was myself, the h she was a fool to leave.
Monday I had to leave and go pick up S (D at friends) at her office bc the babysitter was late. She was fired up again, I had to tell her our babysitter was a teenager and these things will happen, it's not a big deal and I will come get S and she calmed down. During our ride S told me "mom gave us pizza left from work last night and mine looked just like D's and moms but she said it was gluten-free." He kept telling me about it. Well I know it wasn't, they didn't have gluten-free pizza when we were there. I could tell something was off w/S, he was clumsy and just a little off. I can't believe her.... Instead of bringing it up I texted and asked if he got gluten. She said no and when I told her he was acting a little off she replied "I was clumsy too at that age." She called that evening to ask about him. I didn't mention anything S told me. She told me he had pizza but she bought him a GF one. In the car I had asked S if they went and got one or had one delivered and he told me no so I think she is lying. I didn't say anymore about it hoping she sees what she did. She could have actually got him one and he just had an off day (it happens) but I doubt it.
I mentioned it before but diet is how we treat S's asd. Before starting this diet he was non-verbal and would drag his head around on the carpet, beat his face on the wall/floor, and scream so loud it would make our glass lamps ring. Three days after starting the diet he started talking and his glazed eyes disappeared. He is to the point now where he is in normal classes at school (was way ahead before MLC but now only slightly) and no one knows/can tell unless they are familiar w/asd. So that was very aggravating but I think I handled it well.
I mentioned her not making car payments before. Well I keep getting calls. She was supposed to be making the payments (should be paid off) and also paying for half of the kids medical per the decree which she is not. I'm also still paying her insurance. I haven't asked her for anything w/med bills because I know she is struggling, I know she quit making payments to the guardian attorney after the decision went my way because I get statements and I think the attorney finally sent it to collections. I also get her mail that looks like collections stuff. I'm thinking of just paying the car off and being done with this because it is in my name, IDK what to do. W told me she was going to but I will believe it when I see it. I thought about contacting my attorney but a few hours between lawyers and I'd be money ahead to pay it off and done w/this. I also got another toll bill in the mail from W. I know if I give it to her she won't pay it and I will just end up paying more (this is the 3rd or 4th plus a parking ticket). This is frustrating, her plates are expired and still in my name so I get these. She says she doesn't have money, which is true, but she leaves town all the time and also goes to concerts w/MLC friend who I think pays for a lot of w's stuff so xw can hang out w/her.
I've been keeping busy, playing disc golf almost daily and getting the kids into it too. Still trying to do better w/GAL but keeping busy. I am taking the kids ice skating w/a single parents meetup group tonight, taking them to an air show next week, and I took a week off in August. Not sure what we are going to do yet.
