Haha Train, I hope I'm here to stay, I felt it coming yesterday and after I found that letter that basically depicted everything here and now it was like really? Then last night him lying about being at work and having the nerve to still come here at 1130pm.
Okay so me texting him was not pursuit I promise or me trying to control him. I have told him I didn't want him coming to the house. So he text me at 8pm saying he was coming to the house, well by 1030pm he wasn't here yet and I had FINALLY gotten the baby to bed and was letting him know not to come here that late, the kids were sleeping, essentially no need for him to come-and him coming here the dogs would bark like crazy as they do when people come home and wake the baby up. That was the point. When he said he was already on his way (which was not the truth) I didn't reply and I didn't say one word to him when he got here.
This is me mindreading and a waste of time but I’m going to say it anyway, something has definitely changed. He, before, was going to his boss’s house if he was working late because she lives much closer to his work and he didn’t want to have to drive all the way back here only to drive an hour to work again (his boss lives only 15 minutes from their work). Anyway, now he’s ‘working’ later but willing to drive all the way here. I haven’t asked him to come here to help or asked him to do anything for the kids in a month since the ONE Saturday night I went out. So he can’t stay at her house if he’s lying about really working because she would know that he’s not really at work and god forbid she actually know that he’s a liar. All of this means nothing except that it [censored] for me because as long as he can’t go to her house he will continue to come here.
Maybell- that's what I want, someone that is willing to fight for what's right for the boys and I. I may be that scorned woman and you guys may not agree with it but I want everything the boys and I are entitled to. H had NOTHING when he entered this relationship and because of me and my family he has been able to relocate and work long hours and now is making A LOT of money and my expense and it's only fair that the boys and I get what we are entitled to in order to live a comfortable life, it's the least we deserve for going through this a second time. So if I have to spend a little extra to get a little more in the long run it will be money well spent.
Cadence – I don’t know that I agree that he is trying to get me to pursue. He could care less about what I’m doing or even talking to me. I do act as if he is not here, and DO NOT count on him for ANYTHING. I have not asked for one thing to help with the boys AT ALL. I have made all arrangements for the kids through my parents and/or friends as needed. Everything is taken care of as far as soccer, pick ups, drop offs, who’s watching while I’m at school, I have a final exam and a patient evaluation Monday – all taken care of. HeII, H doesn’t even know my schedule to know when I have school or when I’m home.
I just sent the text about the kids being asleep as there’s no reason for him to come… I feel like he’s trying to create a paper trail with his now every night do you need anything? Or I’m still at work, be there soon. So, my response was that the kids were sleeping so if he is keeping track of things he can’t say I’m trying to keep him away, I’m simply letting him know they are sleeping so he wouldn’t be able to spend time with them that late anyway. If that makes sense, that was truly my rationale.
I’m used to him not helping at this point, sad for the kids – yes. I won’t engage in an argument, I haven’t for a long time and don’t plan on starting now, I have come too far. I’m fine with him not helping, like I said, hopeful that this shows he won’t fight me for custody. Plus I’m used to doing this alone at this point, it doesn’t even upset me as it used to. I did that last weekend at soccer alone and did just fine. Ya it sucked doing it alone but I was okay and we survived.
So do I just not text him at all to not come here no matter how late it is? Just let him come and go as he pleases until I file legal paperwork? Or should I ask him again to stop coming here? Kind of confused on that aspect.
I feel like he’s waiting for me to tell him not to come here anymore, so that he can say it’s my fault he left, that I made him.
25 – My dad says the same thing about my H, character is what you do when people aren’t watching… and we all know what that is. And yes this [censored], your H sound like an older version of mine. It rings true what you say about being admired by the new awesome family. My dad says he can picture the boss and her family and her daughter introducing him, hey I’ve got this great guy for you, he makes 6 figures, is a hard worker… over the dinner table so H tell us about yourself, well umm I’m separated and I have 3 boys… oh awesome! How old are they?? 9, 6 and 2 months. Oh 2 months? But wait havent you two been seeing each other for 5 months?
This is just the stuff my dad comes up with to entertain me and make me laugh on my days where I’m sad. He tells me the only people that believe he’s SO AWESOME are just the same category as him – lower than low.
And remember – leopards don’t change their spots, in time they will see him for who he really is. He’s just on good behavior right now.
Leah – I hope you’re having a nice time! Remember that nothing has to be done immediately and it’s better to think it out and really scrutinize everything. I, like you, feel I have afforded H the lifestyle he has with family money and inheritance as well which is why I am so keen on getting what I deserve since he has quadrupled his income since we met.
Ownit- I spoke with Elaine today, she wanted me to try and get H to come for mediation and work out without lawyers to have an uncontested divorce. I told her I don’t know if I’m there yet to sit down at table with him sharing a mediator to figure things out. She told me that any lawyer is going to have H wait until I’m done with school and making good money. She advised me not to stop school at this time and said I need to go on with my life. My concern is we will be making the same money and then he won’t have to pay me any child support. She referred me to a colleague near me for litigation purposes if I want to go that route. I also left messages with a few other attorneys in the area and plan on spending my break from school finding someone I like. Unfortunately I am inundated with schoolwork until next Thursday and really don’t have time to meet with anyone until after that, then I start back to work next week so I’m not sure how it’s going to work out but where there’s a will there’s a way. Maybe I can do phone consultations.
