Right, if you directly respond to her complaints now for her benefit it will infuriate her, not draw her closer.

For one thing, she'll think you're just putting on a show for her and if she were to come back you'd just go back to how you were before.

Secondly if they were long running complaints, the fact that you would take action only now after all she's been through will be extremely frustrating to her. In her mind you "pushed her to this" and everything is your fault, so for you to easily about face in front of her is unwelcome.

But what about 180? The only way it really works is if you do it for yourself. The changes you make will impact how you deal with everyone, not just her, and if you make it part of who you are she will notice. "Peacocking" changes in front of her will have the opposite effect you want.

Your only play right now is distance and building the life you want for yourself. She should need to have to catch up with you versus take you back.

Acc

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015