I'm not clear on whether your W has offered to work on the M or not? Seems a little insincere that she just left you a sticky about ending the A. Not sure she's exactly all-in like she needs to be if y'all want to turn this around. What has she told you about her view of where the M stands?
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I want to add...that our SL has been horrendous and close to zero for like 5 years (this is key info)...the worst...I feel that poor communication led us each to shut ourselves down and withdraw, eventually building into mega resentment...
I can only imagine. I used to get testy with W if I went without for a week, LOL! Clearly there's a big problem there. If your W is having affairs then she does have sexual needs that aren't getting fulfilled, and it sounds like you do too. I wouldn't be surprised if that was a huge factor in why you're here. There is an SSM forum here, it's not very active but it might help you to read through the few threads that are there:
