You're being baited. H is going to do what he's going to do. You should be so absorbed in living life on your own that his comings and goings don't matter. You should assume he won't help with the kids because then you won't get angry when he doesn't - maybe you'll occasionally be pleasantly surprised, instead. There's no need to text him, or give him any idea what you want from him, because this version of H will take it, run with it, and do the opposite in the hopes your emotions get the better of you.
