Firstly honesty should be a given to everybody, unfortunately the WW is anything but honest!
I’d like to expand on “Rule” No.25 (I don’t see them as rules more as objectives I strive to achieve) basically outlines where Mr Nice Guy – MNG is fundamentally dishonest this is mainly down to their fear of having to face conflict. If we do something that is a mistake or something that will upset our WW to the point of confrontation we will hide this mistake, we will say only things people want to hear and not what they SHOULD hear! We tell partial truths, and omit information if we believe it’ll prevent someone from focusing on us in a negative way, we live for an easy life thinking that being nice to everybody is the right thing to do but for who?
I’m a typical MNG I go out of my way to make sure everybody is happy, in my M I did everything for my WW and how was I treated? Like a doormat too scared to say “I think what you’re doing is disrespecting me, I’m actually a person NOT a doormat don’t treat me like that”. As we now know this is because we believe it perceives us in a negative light BUT actually it has the opposite affect and continues to build that lack of respect between the H & WW.
We need to share our feelings, if we don’t like something then we need to have the “balls” to say so, I’m sure others will agree initially there will be resentment BUT behind all that deep down we are slowly starting to gain our WW’s respect a little which can only be a good thing.
Take care.
Mark
DR'ing started March 2017
Don't blow the last bridge up from fantasy island, act "as if".
