Courts don't care about stuff like that. Does he keep time sheets at work or clock in. If things get contested, then you could potentially have something to seek in discovery.
Please listen to Blu. I am a lawyer and a litigator (but not in family law). I have not filed for divorce myself because of the cost involved. You do not want a pit bull. I intentionally hired an attorney that specialized in mediation of high asset dissolutions because I do not want to spend my kids' college educations on litigation. I am determined to get an agreement with mine if it kills me. Thankfully he is also afraid of the cost of litigation and some information I have about him that would come to light. I am hopeful these factors will allow us to reach an agreement at some point.
You want a competent attorney who knows and understands the law and has collaborative relationship with peers. You want them to have an attitude toward reaching the best resolution as quickly and inexpensively as possible. Keep in mind that fewer than 5% of divorces are litigated to trial. The majority settle along the way. Assuming the settlement is adequate, the faster you settle the less money you save.
In my case my H is giving me more money than even the agreement (which is unsigned) requires at this point. I anticipate that will change next month. He has no history of depriving me or the kids of funds, if he did, I would not be messing around. I have made it very clear to him that if I do not have the agreed amount of money in my account on a specific day of each month that I will go and file for support, which he does not want.
I get that you don't want to run out and do anything. But also the present situation does not seem to be a good one for anyone. How about doing as has been suggested and sending him a business email (which you could also use to validate him).
Dear H, I want you to know that I have heard and understood you when you have explained to me your reasons for seeking to leave the marriage. While I do not believe that our marriage is irretrievably lost and I do believe that with counseling and patience we could work through this, I understand that it only takes one person to leave a marriage and I can't force you to stay.
Again, while this is not what I want, I respect your right to make this choice. I would like for us to resolve the issues between us as amicably and inexpensively as possible, as I believe a contentious process would be both fiscally unsound and could be detrimental to the boys.
While you take the time to get yourself organized and move forward with what it is you plan to do, I would like for us to come to an interim agreement for child support and visitation. I think you agree that having you on the couch on an irregular basis could be confusing and upsetting for the kids.
In terms of a schedule I propose _____________________________. I just want to make sure that you have your own place with appropriate accomodations for the boys before you begin taking them with you overnight.
In terms of support, as you know the cost to maintain our household monthly (considering mortgage/rent, insurance, food, utilities, health care, etc.) is _____________. Which means that I will need for you to pay me __________ on the _________ day or the month. [Or alternatively the amount of money you have been providing is sufficient for the time being--whatever the actual case is).
While I am sad that we have reached this place, I want to make sure that we are working together to ensure that the boys always come first and their needs are being met. I want to assure you that I know that they need you as an active part of their lives and I want to do what I can to make sure we are working together as productively as possible.
