Regaing Respect of the WS?

[CW2017]

Hi guys
am now wondering if I am also mentally beginning to let go of the rope. Yes, we have our (secret to her) 20th celebrations coming up, the family holiday coming up, etc. but I really don't seem to have any current interest in whether the workplace affair is still up and running, or maybe that's just my mindset this week.

Because I am now mentally chilled (and possibly detaching) more (after 6 months of gut wrenching anguish) I now seem to react to any flash thoughts about what they used to get up to (ascertained through the text messages when I used to check them) by thinking I might not forgive her after all, don't know to be quite honest. When I think she pursued him through pure lust (just because he made a fuss of her; he later called her a "siren") and the "deep love" seemed to develop concurrently and (similarly to other posters here) later performed an act on him that I have certainly never been on the receiving end of you do indeed wonder about their mental state don't you? Especially as this has all seemed to take place "on the premises".

Like I said if this is still going on, so be it (such is my current mindset). I would be naturally disappointed (to say the least) as it is supposed to be out in the open now. Intriguingly a couple of weeks back she suggested an early night during the week (pretty much unheard of throughout the marriage) and in the "buildup" kept asking me to **** her, again pretty much unprecedented. Relief of tension or what? So I suspect there are more similarities within all our stories than meets the eye!