Regaing Respect of the WS?

[sandi2]

I believe that I am aware the dropping the rope technique. But other than giving up on her what other methods are at my disposal? Do I expose the A to friends and family?

As a rule, I'm usually not in favor of exposure as a means of saving the M. If she files for a D, and nothing has worked to save the M......I would be honest with my family, and maybe a few select friends that I thought deserved to know the truth behind the D. Some people recommend exposure as a way to end the A, so that would have to be your personal decision. I would caution you, however, there can be a fallout from exposure. So, think carefully before doing something you'll regret.

Also I have question in regards to the sexual behaviors of WW. If this is too personal, then no need to respond. But do WW imagine being with OM when having sex with their H?

Absolutely!

Also OM and potential OM2 are fat and out of shape. Physically I would assume that W would want to step up there?

Tread, you don't get it. This has nothing to do about either OM's looks. It has everything to do about the thrill she gets from the affair.

Here's what I see. You are trying to apply logic to your wayward wife. One distinct sign of a wayward, is how they have no logical sense. They think they are so smart, but they do and say the most stupid things. You continue to believe she thinks like she use to think, and that her tastes, morals, etc. are still the same. They aren't. Her normal regard for right & wrong has been overridden by a corrupt, selfish, wayward mindset. She is in rebellion against you and the M. If this was back in the day before she married, she probably would not have considered these other guys for a minute. She has changed from the girl you M. She resents you and disrespects you.......and now she is in rebellion by having this affair, and planning on more if OM#1 doesn't work out (which shows you she is not truly in love with him). Bouncing from man to man shows the dive her morals have taken. As long as she can go from man to man without facing consequences........why would you expect her to stop?

Understand what I am going to say next. She is not going to suddenly wake up one day and realize she really loves her H b/c he's a good man, is better looking, has more money than the other men, or b/c he does not deserve how she's treated him. It is not going to happen! There has to be something that personally affects her, due to her decisions to betray her H. Something has to give her brain the message that she has really split her pants by betraying her H and she is facing consequences b/c of that action, and it's not going to get better until she changes. That's one reason I tell H's not to take the WW back too easily. She should feel remorse and be willing to do the necessary work to have a good MR. Yes, the WW can change. However, she isn't going to change as long as she gets what she wants without the work of change.