September, 2016 - W gets a job. She keeps the entire paycheck to herself in a private account. Continues to drain the joint checking account with personal purchases. I move all the money into private accounts. She tries to act hurt when I tell her this but is an awful actor.
October, 2016 - W files for a D. Her divorce lawyer also gets a financial restraining order placed on my bank accounts. My money is frozen. I hire a divorce L, he works on unfreezing the accounts with the other L. Her L insists on a court order saying my W is entitled of half of my net pay after bills are paid. We agree. Her L says we can unfreeze the account, but it turns out she's wrong - only she can do it. It takes 3 weeks to get done. I have to live off credit cards during that time.
The court order also stipulates that W can't leave the kids at home alone (she did it twice). Her L tries to put in a motion to forbid me from making audio recordings at home (I was snooping). My L has this stricken from the court order but doesn't tell me (I see it in the first draft but not the second).
November, 2016 - Opposing L direct mails me two forms to fill out - "Interrogatories" and "Notice To Produce". The first is my financial portfolio and the second my financial history. I notify my L. They ask me to fill out what I can and mail it back to them. Nothing further.
February, 2017 - Lose my job the month before. Her L files a petition demanding I get a job. W knows I'm looking for a job. I tell her it's a waste of money for both of us and it's going to cost me just to reply to this nonsense. W gets sheepish and looks away and says her L filed the motion without her approval, that it was in place as a "back-up". A lie.
March, 2017 - I google her L. In practice since 1989. No website. Google maps shows her address is unmarked office out in the suburbs. Only reviews I can find are negative - dishonest, unprepared, greedy, uncommunicative. Much of this verified by my L, my W's complaints, or myself. Takes days to return calls. Every piece of litigation has typos. Doesn't follow procedures.
April, 2017 - Tax returns. W asks how should we handle it. I say $900 has to go to the water bill and we can split the rest 50/50. She says her L wants to put it in escrow until a later date. I say my lawyer has to approve this first. She drops the conversation.
May, 2017 - Both tax returns in the joint savings account on May 1st. 2 weeks later, W calls me after dropping off S5 at school. She sounds very sad & tired - asks if I can watch S3 because her L has requested a sudden visit (W always gave me 2 days notice of her L appointments). The next day, savings account is almost empty. W withdrew $7000. I notify my L. They call her L. Her L acknowledges withdrawal, demands it be put in escrow. My L says let's acquiesce, says we need to pick our battles. I agree.
June, 2017 - My L drafts letter of agreement for her L - stating only amount of tax return and that it will be kept in escrow by her until further notice - that's all. Sent and no reply. Phone calls and emails to her office go un-returned for 2 weeks. My L finally files a petition in court, by refusing to acknowledge written escrow arrangement, W violated court order from October. Her L files a reply, denying everything.
Her L files petition for me to get a job for the 2nd time. Also files "Claims of Dissipation" against me, basically accusing me of hiding / stealing / sequestering money. The charges are clearly lifted from another client or just made up. All sorts of crazy claims - I have 2 cars, a motorcycle, a timeshare condo. I failed to pay off her car (car is in my name and W doesn't drive), I hid money to pay for 7 different vacations I never took. Claim also says we separated in March, 2010 - we're still legally married! At the end of 3 pages worth of lies is my W's signature - did she sign this without reading it?
My L refutes all claims in court. Her L admits there are many errors and withdraws the claim. Judge rules against my W, requests Financial Affidavits from both of us. Mine is finished, W has yet to submit one.
During this time, I found a check made out to my W for $2765. Payer on check is L's office but office has no address printed! Memo field reads Remainder of 7000, 4235 already paid to [L's initials]. I think W stole tax return at L's command to pay her. Did her L give a remainder back as some kind of bonus? Maybe with instructions not to cash it until D is final (check is undated).
I send check to my L. They send it back with instructions to return it to W, says the check falls under attorney/client privilege. I expected this, just sent it to them to see what they'd say. I don't know if I want to give her the check back, she hasn't noticed yet that it's missing. If she confronts me about it, she has to admit the check exists in the first place.
July, 2017 - I receive notification from one of my creditors that her L subpoeana'd them back in March. The creditor didn't process this until end of June. I forward paperwork to my L. My L says nothing to worry - her L couldn't subpoena any creditors without submitting a Financial Affidavit first. She also says the same thing is true of the "Interrogatories" and "Notice To Produce" forms sent last November. She also said those forms shouldn't have been sent directly to me in the first place.
I don't know if W's lawyer is truly incompetent or a sick, clever genius. It appears as if she's made mistake after mistake, or is this all a ploy to wear me down?
My L is detailed, takes time to explain everything and makes sure I approve of everything first, but she won't commit to saying anything she can't prove in court - even off the record. She won't interpret anything other than the document itself.
I am thinking too much about all of this.
M: 49, W: 45 T: 22 M: 15 S14, S11, S9 BD: Jan '16 W files: Oct '16 D final: June '18
