Here again part 10

[Train]

I just feel like this time the advice is semi different. I felt like you guys had hope that things would turn around this time that's not the case.
The advice is different because the circumstances are different. Your attitude and outlook are different. You are a new mom. Your spirit is, frankly, very weak right now. You are beaten down. You are showing signs of being exhausted and emotional. (UNDERSTANDABLY SO!) It's not that our advice is different per se. You are just in a different place with your M, and we are giving you the advice you need to hear for now. We are not telling you there's no hope. We are telling you that the *only way there's hope* is if you do what we're advising. And that involves a big, healthy dose of tough love from you to your H ... and from us to you.

So my main fear - me pushing all this permanent stuff means we are done. FOREVER.
How 'bout I'm not even going to dignify that ridiculous comment with a response? Because cadence has only been over this with you a dozen times. I swear if I read "done" or "forever" in your threads one more time, I'm going to snap. Please stop with that nonsense.


That he sees me so horribly that he can't bear to be with me and would rather not see his kids everyday than be here with me. Thathe cant see that things won't or aren't the way he says they are (me living in the past, thinking he's a cheater, that he will never change etc etc).
Channeling Blu: WahWahWahhhhWahhhhWahWah

It's about to get really ugly once this legal road starts not that it's not ugly now but a whole new type of ugly trucking my boys between two homes etc. right now they get to be in their home every night and that's what they want.
Yeah. You're right: it already IS really ugly. Your H is buying flowers for other women on Valentine's Day. He's shaving his manhood. He's buying a motorcycle. He's deciding what he's going to sell - NOT THE MOTORCYCLE! - to fund his life without you. He wanted to work instead of attend the birth of his son. He tells you to your face that you're nothing to him anymore. He is having packages for another woman delivered to your door. He's sleeping while you handle y'all's three boys AND your school/work load.

Please drop the fear about splitting the kids. It just doesn't often come to fruition the way we fear. Once the dust settles, even among divorced partners, things usually end up being better than you imagine. Just trust me on that.

And I'm not sure I could tell him we will be a great happy family after this. He knows I don't believe that... I'm just not sure that would even be worth saying because I believe he will see through what I'm saying.
It's clear you didn't pick up on my approval that you say this to H with sarcasm in your voice. (Just mask the actual physical eyerolls.)