Regaing Respect of the WS?

[KGuy]

Quite frankly, I don't understand how you plan to use this information. Do you bring it up whenever you confront her? If so, there is one of two things she will do. 1) Ignore your attempts to call her out, b/c she really doesn't care about your feelings; 2) Take the affair deeper underground, so it won't be quite so easy for you to track. Either way, I see no positive results in using it to confront her.

If she had agreed to end the A and have no contact with the OM, then yes, I could better understand your purpose behind gathering this intell. However, unless you intend to follow through with some plan of action.......this information does nothing to help the M.

Here's the thing.......when you call her out about her behavior, and that's all you do........she sees you as being weak. She does not respect you for confronting her and wanting to ask her more questions. Talking is all you are doing. It does not work! So, what else can you do that makes a statement about YOU and what you tolerate and what you don't?

Are you aware of Dropping the Rope Technique?

I agree with sandi2 in that you shouldn't confront her with any evidence at least not adfter its been brought out initially. I would keep compiling it though as it will be useful if you have to file for divorce or even call her out to her friends/family if that hasn't already been done. Personally, if my wife had an affair, that would be one of the few reasons i would file. That would start the process to show you are serious. you can always retract if things take a turn for the better.