Now my plan to detach isn't going exactly as planned. Its hard to do this when W is constantly in your face, joking, being playful and wanting to talk about her day. Yesterday I had planned on watching the second Planet of the Apes with S13 before going out to see the new one tonight. W decided to join in the living room and still was talking about a lot of things as the movie was getting started. I listened and validated, since these were my 180s. But I couldn't help but to thing that this isn't detaching.
I couldn't detach while W was under the same roof. This was something I came here and discussed at length, and the short version is that most of the advice here was that it was OK to instead "show her what she's going to miss". My W wasn't actively involved in a PA though, so that does change the dynamic.
I'm sure you've read TXHubby's thread but he and his W were under the same roof after BD (and she was actively having an A) and at first he tried to show her what she would miss and it just didn't have any impact on her. It wasn't until he said "that's it, no more Mister Doormat" that things started to change. I think if you read Sandi's posts you'll get that same message, that as long as we try to placate the WW that we're just going to get run over but if we take a hard line and refuse to accept the cake-eating that it's then that they get the wake-up call. I'm not saying what you're doing is wrong, but I think you're on the same path as TXHubby. At some point you're going to get tired of the BS, read your W the riot act and well and truly detach. It's not something you can fake, but you WILL reach your limit and when you do, the time will be right for detaching.
