So, I've had some time off work over the past few days and have had a lot of time to think.
I've come to understand and feel (so both an intellectual and a feeling understanding) just how much drama that been in my life for the past 6 years.
STBXH's work (working away for months at a time, on some very intense and demanding jobs) and his emotional rollercoaster (drinking, affairs)...well, I had gotten used to those. It's only now that there is some distance between us, and I have had a chance of being more myself, that I can see that very clearly.
I think I felt it straight away, after he left, and once I stopped being scared of the silence in the house. The silence wasn't empty, it wasn't one of absence, but it was a very peaceful one, and it felt filled with possibilities.
It's all too easy to see why I was drawn to Mr Abusive Heavy Drinker afterwards.
