Ya because I've let him walk all over me since March. The only time I stood up to him he respected my boundary which was when he went out one night and said he wasn't going to come home and I said if you don't come home then don't ever come back here. He came home that night.
Since then he's pretty much done what he's wanted. My. Parents want me to keep things this way. They don't want me to add more stress of him not contributing financially... my dad has the kids a lot so he doesn't have the means to pick up everything H is taking care of and my mom has all her own bills.
I just don't know if I'm ready to cut off my nose to spite my face. My dad said H is never coming back. He's done with me. He's checked out and he's never coming back. And my dad knows him... so if that's the case why risk putting financial stress on myself and instead let him pay so I can continue focusing on the kids and school.
I don't know ... I said talking with a friend I don't know what to do. I don't want a divorce but I don't want him the way he is. I don't see anything changing and I see me getting a D. So if this is what it's going to be and he's taken so much from me already why put more stress on myself of having to work more hours to get by ?
I'm sure that makes me sound weak. It's not that I don't want to piss him off in fear of hurting my chances with him. It's that I don't want to piss him off to put financial stress on myself. I have enough going on in my life I cannot afford to rid my schooling or my boys happiness and I know me losing his financial contributions would take me away from my school because I would have to work and it would take me away from the kids. I just feel like I'm in a no win situation.
I am NOT this person to be this way living like this. Last time I worked two jobs and did it on my own. But I wasn't in school full time and I didn't have a new baby. I don't want to be gone 5-6 days a weeek and miss out on this time that I will never get back. It [censored]. I don't know what is the right decision. I really don't have the 5k retainer right now
