well,

as for being ;legally stuck, all you know is that the sooner you begin the process, the sooner you can get something in writing.

I had been hospitalized and my L said the "average time" was 90-120 days, so I expected it to go faster, but that's pretty much what it was. (Yeah, I know)...

I lived in my sisters' basement with my dog, for those 4 months, and my d's came for Christmas, sleeping on the floor.

God, I can barely think about that ^^ without wanting to either cry, feel shame, or slap my h's face off...

As for WHY your h is there, & who he is trying to impress or whatever, hey, do you want to spend your energy on that brain screw?

I seriously doubt he knows. Image management, staying connected to the boys, coping with his own guilt, who knows?

MY question is, is it helping you, or making you spin more? Answer that without thinking about what your h's reaction...

So sorry you're here...but try to step back and see the big picture.

(I know it helps me to take the long view, when I get mired in what's going on right now.)

You know *big picture*, you'll be alright, and you'll get through this. But for now, it $ucks.

I get it, I really truly do.

The challenge is to balance the need to be "in the moment" for the boys and to get through the day

and to remind yourself when you get bogged down in the crazy stuff of the day & the pain of your h there in your face but far off in his own world of """NOT knowing"""""

and a baby who needs changing and other sons who want time with you (and "where's dad???") and homework due, and money concerns and all the spinning about your h

that's when you need to literally take a slow deep breath

and remind yourself that you are in great shape.

B/c unlike 90% of the women on our planet, you will have shelter, you will have food, you & your children will have health care (no one will "draft" your sons to join their rebel army and you are in a safe neighborhood) and you will have a job you derive meaning from & you have family who care about you, around you...

Without your h, you will Not have that itchy sweater feeling around your h wondering every few years, or what the heck is happening with him... and In time, T3, you will be at peace. I just know this.

I so wish you could be at peace now.

((( )))


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change