Maybe She Isn't Evil

[RDS]

Tomorrow the D will come and go. Still can't believe I will be a divorced man.

Had a phone call about an hour ago with the STBXW and I'm trying to calm down as best I can. It' obvious she is only thinking of herself and even after 14+ months she still places all the blame on me. Whatever.

What started out as an innocent call quickly turned ugly. She wanted to know the life insurance policies and the amounts. I have three life insurance policies. I pay for 2 and I get one through my job. Let's just say if I die now my W would be a wealthy woman.

Anyway, she is asking for this information, and I finally ask what it's for. She says her lawyer is asking for it. I told her as soon as the divorce is done I am removing her as a beneficiary and naming our D the beneficiary. She starts yelling on the phone telling me I promised to keep her on the life insurance. I replied I did say that, but I would only keep her on the policy as long as we were married. After that she is on her own.

She asks in an elevated voice what happens to her if I die? I told her wanting a D is her saying she doesn't need me anymore and she would have to do like everyone else. Why should she benefit from my death? I also asked her what do I get if she dies? I get nothing. She then goes on to say she deserves something for putting up with me for 32 years. I respond why do you expect to get everything and I'm not allowed to get anything in return?

I will continue to pay the insurance, but I don't want to be legally forced to pay for it. My W just doesn't understand I have real concerns about me paying my bills. I have a good job now, but I cannot see what could happen in the future. If I lose my job I am still legally obligated to pay her alimony and half my retirement income. She doesn't want to see my side of the story. For her, I'm just being extremely selfish. I don't want to be liable for yet another bill where she benefits.

At one point how much more can I bleed.

She kept saying, "I'm done. I'm done. You hurt me in our marriage and you still want to hurt me now!" This is from the same woman who put over $90k in credit card debt (which I'm ordered to pay the large majority of), and she wants to know why I'm concerned about money.

She cannot see I'm not trying to hurt her. I want to be as fair as possible and I honestly think I am, but in her mindset every dollar she can't get from me is a dollar I'm using to hurt her.

There was a lot more to it, but I'm still amazed how bitter she is towards our M. She paints herself as this beacon of purity while I was the demon in the house. It's mind boggling.