So much of what you said sounds so familiar. I remember those days.
I'm not an expert on any of this marriage and DB stuff, but I'll tell you what I'd do in your current situation:
1. Lawyer up. 2. Tell the wife it's time for her to leave. 3. Get her some boxes and tape.
I wouldn't do that to be mean. It's time for her to ante-up and stop playing on your emotions. It's time for her to really understand what it means to be without her family.
Again, I'm no expert at this stuff, but if I had it to do over again, I would've taken decisive action early in the process. I think that would've given me a better chance of saving my marriage.
