Have you seen those old Charlie Brown clips where whenever the adults talk there is only a trumpet sound? "Whaaaaah waaah whaaaahhhh!!!!" That is all I hear when your H starts talking. I mean really, he is not saying anything 1. new, or 2. of any substance. I wish there was a way you could remove his platform for this? "waaah, T I'm done, wahhh waaaahhhh wwaaahhhh." I mean, I could barely focus on the words you typed because it's all apart of the same. I wonder if the more he says these things, the more he convinces himself? Or anyone?
I doubt it. What I do know is the script sounds so much like everything he has already been saying AND a lot like the other waywards on this board. In fact, when my H left he said a lot of the same, "wahhh whaaah waaaaaaaahhhhhhh." It broke my heart because it hurts to hear it and it hurt over again each time! I should not have allowed so much of that. I let him hurt me by listening to that BS. I am no ones emotional punching bag nor to be blamed for his own unhappiness.
The thing is, part of dropping the rope includes removing the platform. I mean of course you are not going to initiate any R talk (don't do that), but what about when he starts up? How about a super quick validation and then an escape method? I mean who has time for all this anyhow??? You have far more important things that deserve your attention right now. You have 3 kiddos, school, and your own GAL!
Here, let's practice, T:
(ring ring) H: T, we need to talk. Waaahhhh whhaaah wah. T: I hear you. I am sorry you feel that way. H: Wah wah T: I think I understand what you mean. I have been listening to this for several months. This is difficult. H: Waaaaahhhhhhhhh T: H, I do hear you. I am sorry you see things that way. This isn't a good time for me right now. I am not going to agree to that now. I also need to go because I am taking the boys to GAL. I also could use more time to think and process all of this. Please reply to my email regarding a clear and consistent schedule for the boys. That is the most important thing right now. Good Bye H. (hang up or leave house or just EXIT convo)
Thoughts? Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
