We discussed him moving back until S is settled at new school although I did say I wasn't sure it was what I wanted. He told me that OW is moving to her own place at end of the month and the nights that her H has her kids he will be staying with her. Also the weekends that she has her kids he will see ours. No I'm not happy about him dictating to me but what can I do?
I think you need a clear schedule. Why should he be allowed to come and go as he pleases while you are stuck waiting on finding out if he has plans or not before you can go out? If he is going to have custody in the future, I think this should be established now. I will caution you - try not to judge what he is doing on 'his time' without the kids and try not to be a bully about the schedule in terms of trying to make it impossible for him to see OW. Instead, pick what days are important for you and go from there.
Originally Posted By: SJW
He came home on Friday night and I asked him not to tell the kids this weekend, they had just got really good school reports and have one week left in school so didn't want this overshadowed.
You do know that there is never a good time to do this right? To me, it feels like you are waiting, because if you keep putting it off, theres a chance it wont happen.
Originally Posted By: SJW
he held my hand
Why are you OK with this?
Originally Posted By: SJW
He accused me of trying to control him that it was his choice what and when he told the kids and he had plans for next weekend was working the one after and had plans the one after that so needed to tell them as he needed closure. He was absolutely vile and I went to bed to avoid a row after reiterating my reasons and asking him why he had changed from earlier.
Im not saying his tone is correct. But arent you kinda trying to control this?
Originally Posted By: SJW
We went bowling then for dinner and he was completely normal, we laughed and joked and generally had a good time, no phone.
What is your reasoning for doing these 'family days'? He just told you hes going to be sleeping at OW's when he wants and only being with you when it's convenient for him.
Are you OK being his backup plan?
Originally Posted By: SJW
I asked if he minded if I went out then he asked where and I just said out, he then asked if I seeing a particular friend and I said no.
Next time, Id tell him it isnt any of his business.
