Regaing Respect of the WS?

[sandi2]

I have been calling bs on the whole were just friends now from the start. Which has only been getting W upset that I just won't take her her word for it. And I've been saying the same to her that she would chose to be friends with a stranger over her H that she has been with for 17 years. Which is why I believe there is more than a physical connection here. Her intent originally was for things to just be physical, but my W is way to emotional of person for things to be like that. She played herself and caught feelings for a man till this day, she hardly knows anything about.

So she went into the A with intent? Do either of you feel it is less grievous if an A is for physical pleasure, only? Is this suppose to downplay the seriousness of the A?

When she brings up the subject of OM, how to do you react? It is incredibly disrespectful for her to talk about him. Of course, it's disrespectful to have any type of A, and to continue contacting the AP.

Last week, I told her that we needed to come up with a plan to get her out of here. Don't think she expected me to say that. But I let her know that I had no intent on chasing after a woman who was chasing someone else's H. At the moment, she doesn't seem too concerned about losing anything.

Hummm, I don't know about her......but this just bought you some of my respect, of these are not just you using more words and have no intentions of backing it up.

Why would you have to help her with a plan for her to get out? Will she have to help with the mortgage payments or other major bills? I am suspicious about her separate account, and money from the joint account may start disappearing and showing up in hers. She could be telling the truth about applying for a loan, but I would be surprised if it was really to mortgage payments.

W did mention a few months back that if we were mean't to be together, then we would somehow find our way back to each other...smh

When this statement comes from a WW, it's more her way of just giving the baby a pacifier to hush and leave her alone.

At this point, I have detached the best I could while living in the same home. At this point, I can't control another grown person so be it. As far as boundaries, I can't do a thing to enforce them

What do you mean you can't do a thing to enforce boundaries? You just told her you weren't going to chase a woman who was chasing OM. That is a boundary. Getting her out is enforcing it.