Trying to detach from WTF world

[Treasur]

It has all been pretty bewildering. My H's personality in MLC has been unrecognisable really compared to who he was and he has done things he wouldn't have believed if you had told him two years ago. Probably more because I'm sure there are things I don't know too.

What makes it hard is how crazy it all seems and how destructive. I think of him every day although I am past the sobbing into my boots stage of last year. You have to get a bit numb after a while. I always knew it wasn't about me really or even very much about our marriage (although I wish I'd known about boundaries a bit earlier!!). MLC makes it feel pretty hopeless that there will be a foreseeable time when it will even be possible to have a normal conversation...so I guess it's easier to assume we won't. D will be finalised and I'll never see him again. At the same time, I know my H used to love me very much and it's hard to believe that he never thinks about me at all after almost 20 years of a pretty happy loving relationship.

Hey ho, off to music festival today to GAL. He's either seeing his parents in Paris for a week alone because him & OW have hit the buffers as he was hinting or, equally possible, he is there introducing OW as their next DIL. No way of knowing so I squish the thoughts when they pop up. Read on someone else's thread that they imagined their H & OW on a postage stamp and covered it with their shoe so I'll try that!