When it comes to my sons, I don't give a sh*t about DB or anything that someone else thinks or says; I love having my sons around and I'll take them as much as possible. If I could have them all the time, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
I don't have kids but that would be my approach. Don't let the kids suffer...at the end THEY will appreciate you and might even recognize what you did.
It's also related to in my eyes being the bigger person. Now, if it is accommodating her in some other way...that's different.
