Talk about the oldest line in the book, that's what she gave you when she said they were just friends. Once they engage in any type of an A (whether physical or emotionally) they cannot be friends. Never!
Here's the thing, if this OM even fell into the category of a friend, what W would not give up that friend if her H asked it of her? But if the H tells her he is not comfortable with her being friends with OM......and she refuses to give up OM, you can bet your last dollar it's b/c it's more than just a friendship. Think about it. She chooses a friend over her H and her M?
To make this even worse, she tells you they had physical sex but it was without emotions? Please! Is that suppose to make it okay that now they only think of each other as friends? She is playing you for a fool, in so many ways.
When a WW knows that her H is aware of her infidelity and he does nothing more than talk about it while she continues the A.......she will not have respect for him.
I think all of us carry a certain amount of traits carried over from our FOO. We can overcome or learn another behavior that is more acceptable and makes us a better person. However, if we have no reason to change, no motivation to work at change.....most will not bother. If her family adjusts themselves to fit around her......there is little hope she will see the necessity or have the desire to change her ways.
Opening a hidden account, usually means she is preparing for her exit. As for as waiting to see how long it takes her to tell you..........what makes you think ever will? What would you do about it, whether she tells you or not?
Tread, you have depended on your mouth to do the work at saving your MR........and so far, it has been useless. Action is what counts with a WW! Is she concerned about losing anything?
Have you tried the last resort technique? Have you dropped the rope? Have you detached, enforced boundaries? What is your plan, since she doesn't care that you know she's had a PA and still contacting OM?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
