I am good thanks. Just got back from 10 days in Spain with my D and her friend. First time since I was 19 that I didn't go with another adult. It was just the three of us and we had a whale of a time!
Not heard anything from H since D's prom. He has had some text communication with D regarding the allowance he started giving her from this month. Because of her prom June was a very expensive month for me. I was literally haemorrhaging money from my bank account on a weekly basis! D kept asking if she could ask H for an advance but I held her off for as long as possible by paying for the things she wanted myself. However in the end I agreed for her to ask him and he obliged. She won't get the chance to do this again so I really wanted her to have at least the basics. Hair, nails, shoes, makeup etc. She didn't have to pay for the car or her handbag which was a saving for me.
Roll on to the end of June D is now in full holiday mode but she has to wait for the beginning of July for the remainder of July's money to come in from H. Out of the blue H starts accusing her of not managing her money right and the fact that he can't afford to keep giving her money whenever she wants it. I do agree with H on this however she only asked for an advance because it was her prom and she was only expecting the remainder of what he was going to pay her anyway. She got very upset with him and told him that it wasn't her fault that he decided to leave and get an apartment in the most expensive cities in the county (just so he can be nearer his friends) and that it was me who puts a roof over her head and feeds and clothes her and that some Dad he turned out to be! He responded that it was not as clear cut as that but he understood (?). I desperately wanted to ask him what he meant by that as I still don't know what I did to make him leave! D also wanted to tell him that if it was not for me he would not have been invited to her prom but I stopped her from sending this. I really didn't think it as necessary for him to know and may have made their relationship more strained.
My issue is that when I opened D''s bank account I did not want H to contribute and for many months he did not but he did say that he would do anything to support D so in the end I gave him her account details and he said he was happy that he was able to contribute to her financially. He knows D is now looking for a job for the summer so I am not sure why he now has an attitude. I know he has moved again and I can only assume he has bitten off more than he can chew and is feeling the pinch financially. As far as D is concerned, as soon as she gets a job she is going to ask him to stop her money. I'm going to leave that up to her to manage.
Other than that D had a text from him whilst we were on holiday asking if she was having a good time. We were surprised as we didn't tell him about our holiday. D didn't think he was happy that we didn't tell him. After she thanked him for asking he did not respond back to her and we have not heard anything since.
Since I have stopped initiating contact and dinners etc. his communication with D has reduced drastically. I am not sure what is going to happen in the future, whether he will reach out and try and see D/me but I don't think he will. I feel really sad and I did on holiday too but I didn't dwell on it too much. He is missing out not us.
I have also decided to remove H from D's next of kin details for college. He does not think D is important enough to tell her he has moved let alone give us his new address. It's just ridiculous to me that we are not allowed to know where he lives! Neither myself nor D really care so if he worries that we will just turn up to his door or spy on him then he is sorely mistaken. We really don't have any inclination to do that.
So at the moment I'm just getting on with my life without H. I've at last taken on board all the advice which is to just leave him alone. I still miss him very much but he is not my H at the moment. I also bagged up the remainder of his clothes that had left in the wardrobe and put them in the garage. I'm slowly reclaiming my house....
Happy Friday everyone!! X
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
