Just here for support, but I had to comment on this
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Like my C said he's built up this army of people who support him and tell him he's making the right decision which gets his head bigger and bigger.
I identify with this so much. H did this, too, but with a male friend he made the first time he left me. He's a nice guy, but can't manage a healthy relationship of his own and likes to go out on the town and chat up women. When we reconciled, this friend would pout if I was with them. He wanted H single again, and H saw it and it became an inside joke between us.
This friend would barely say two words to me. I'd try to talk to him, but he had no interest in getting to know me. H joked "Well, you're with me so he's got no use for you!" Yeah, great.
Late last year, I'd see some texts H sent to him after we had an argument. "Oh, Cadence and I had another argument. It's resolved but it's just a matter of time until the next one!"
I asked him about that; if it was wise to be confiding about our struggles with the friend who wants him single. He'd insist it was fine, and I'd be surprised how supportive this guy was and that he knew we had something special.
And guess who is probably thrilled he has H back? This friend treated me as if I were temporary, and H made that come true.
I saw it happening, but I couldn't stop it. H thought I was jealous or wanted him not to have friends, but it wasn't that. This guy was clearly not a friend of OURS.
I had to accept that H knew what he was doing. And it's a matter of the chicken or the egg. I can't say this guy influenced him to leave as much as H set it up to have support to make the decision to leave. I feel like it's a bit of both.
But, like some posters have said, it goes in the God box. The same with you. You don't know if your H was innocent, and these people are influencing him and he can't see it, or if he actively wanted to build a support system of people who would influence him away from your M.
Sorry for the derail, but I thought it might help you put that in context. I know you're aggravated about these people he talks to.
