I've been giving all of those good questions a lot of thought the last few days.
I honestly cannot tell you what is different this time. She says that she realized that while friends she divulged way too much about me and her. And after realizing he had used all that information to more or less become me and give her everything I was giving her before I deployed. She stated she realized way too late what he did. And that she " " didn't love OM she loved another man who was trying to become me, and who prayed on her vulnerability.
She does however take full responsibility for her actions in her email "so in words" not actions.
Now on the question of trust, that is not possible. I expressed this to her. I stated my feelings of mistrust due to past actions.
Although I still care about her deeply, I cannot trust in her words, and she has not been out of the other relationship very long for her to prove anything.
I believe in up front honesty so I have told my GF the entire sitch. And through it all she has been my biggest supporter. As I've told her I cannot lie, after 15 years of memories, it's hard to be completely vulnerable again. Or even say I don't hold feelings for the past. But she never judged me, somehow she burrowed into my heart.
So now I look at things as, how would I like to be treated! What's right, do we have all the memories like my past, no we don't. But what's so wrong with that. After not hearing from my WW for over a year after she went back to him, I've realized one thing. I can be happy! But I just have to allow myself to be. I appreciate your perspective. It's always nice to read from others what you yourself are feeling/not thought of etc...
