Here again part 10

[25yearsmlc]

what she said^^^.

Your h feels entitled to his choices and that is why he makes them. He felt regret during or after the first time, when he seemed to have gambled too much.

Time passed and life presented the joy (& responsibility of another child/ new home -so

he felt entitled to Gambling with his marriage and his enlarged family again.
If this were any other time in your life, I suspect you'd say you know enough to know if there is an affair.

I'm not sure about the details you seek. Is it proof OF AN A, or all the details? Because other than an actual video of the penetration act ( gross), why bother?

(I'm asking, not belaboring the point that I would not).

Anyway, I send you strength and peace and comfort T3...

Somehow I just know that you will be alright, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Can't explain how I know, but I swear I do. We are all supporting you in getting there.

I'm acutely aware of how you feel in terms of being replaced, let alone so fast. It wounds deeply and draws blood.

I also understand the ceaseless internal questions of HOW and WHY we were so hurt, how and why someone can seem to change overnight, or maybe reveal their true selves or whatever...

I know the recriminations we have of ourselves - first for somehow causing this rejection, bringing it about ourselves, and then later, the regrets for not seeing our h's true selves earlier...

be gentle with yourself. We cannot know all the answers and we will not.
Reading about people who "just want to understand why" - now it just makes me sad.

My own son31 says "Mom, the reason 'why' is that dad is a selfish fraud. Stop wasting your life wondering why, mom. Dad is GONE!"

Hearing my own son^^say this so firmly^^^reminded me of

the Caroline Myss' quote,

endless wondering is endless suffering.

And it's self inflicted. You do not deserve endless suffering.

You deserve romantic love, deep loyalty, & easy laughter & abiding respect. You will create this in your new life, as will I.

Please know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, because there is. And we are all supporting you in making it there.