Finding my way in the dark - Part 2

[Holding]

Sandi, thanks so much for stopping by and dropping your wisdom.

We had a LBH not too long ago, who had been distant with his own father ever since his parents divorced. As he was encouraged by the board, he went to see his father, and to tell him about his marriage problems. That's when he learned the truth behind the D of his parents. His mother was the one who wanted the D. She had been in an A, and his father agreed to not say anything about it. As a result, the father forfeited a relationship with his son. Every parent should learn from that man's heartbreaking experience, and don't do what the cheater wants........which is for you to go down in the flames for them. They want to come through D looking like a peach!

Wow. This story really blew me away. Thanks for sharing it. I'll confess I've been in the "protect the kids" camp, but this really has me rethinking things. I've always thought it was a jerk move to expose the kids to the parents' dirt. I can't really mention the A, since W is denying things. But I guess I don't have to sit there and say "we just don't love each other any more".

If you don't want the family to split, then why on earth would you tell your children it was what you both want?

YES! For me, a marriage commitment is EXTREMELY serious, and I find the whole idea of divorce to be completely alien. I can see how, by making it seem to my kids like I'm cool with the idea of divorce, I'm letting my wife steal the values I'm trying to teach them.