I guess I am a lot weaker than all of you. I just am given this [censored] sandwich that I'm supposed to eat and just not care about how he treats me, what he does, that he doesn't care about me, etc. I don't know how all of you guys just let it go and not snoop or not want to just scream at the top of your lungs.
I like to believe I am pretty mature and pretty level headed. I know I sometimes think pretty black and white but I would be lying if I said I didn't want to scream at him. I want to know what kind of a man does this a second time. What type of man conjures this story that his life is so terrible he has to walk out again and erase me from his life like last time.
I was starting to type a text asking him to not stay the night when I hear my dad talking to him on the phone. He called my dad to ask a question about the boys and ask about if they wanted him to bring them dinner tonight. Here we go... just like last time. Now he will call my dad so that he doesn't have to speak to me. What a re run of the same crappy movie all over again.
I don't think I'm meant to DB... I am not as good of a person as you all are to just let it go. I want to know what is so wrong with me that we have to go through this again.
In this moment, I feel like I have to file for D. My old self wouldn't ever put up with this a second time. My brain is screaming at me to stand up for myself and kick him to the curb. My heart is screaming at me to save my M and hurting that I have been replaced. Just like a piece of trash I have been thrown aside.
