I don't have much new to report. Summer is flying by, which means vacation, kids' activities, and then work as usual (but throw in some time much needed off :-). Looking forward to some travel family vacays. I think it will be nice to spend uninterrupted time together as family. Our schedules are all over the place and rarely can we all even sit down to dinner together is seems. Strangely though, I think I would enjoy this time as much with H/kids as I would with just kids. Gosh, the irony in that, too bad I can't go back a few years and serve up some of this detachment when I really needed it! In fact, I wish I could give some of you posters a few slices too. I truly, truly do. It pains me to read some of your posts because I felt the exact same way then and now I do not at all.
I would have never thought 3 years ago I would be here. Could never, ever have imagined. I was spinning and back sliding for so long--reading here every day--and I just could NOT let go, drop the rope, or imagine my life without him. Not at all. The thoughts consumed me and controlled my life. Now he is solidly back in, and while I think it is best for all of us, I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT I would be fine on my own. I like my alone time and privacy now more than ever. I am telling you all this because I promise things will change. As the months and years go by, things will settle and you can still have a beautiful life. It is all in your perspective and NOT in the choices your S is making. I thought then that he was doing this to me (ruining my life and taking every thing away) when really it was me not letting go that held me down.
... now I need to tackle these questions form 25 and Sara and force myself to dig a little deeper--which I have been avoiding--so here I go ...
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
