Well, I haven't been on here in quite a while and am definitely needing some emotional support.
I went to court today, as the ex has still refused to become self-supporting. It was a year ago I filed and my attorney stated that we could very possibly get the spousal support reduced if not terminated. Since last year, she intentionally skipped mediation and failed to show up for a pre-arranged meeting with me, my attorney and her attorney. I also had to pay for her to complete a vocational evaluation in order to determine her earning capacity. Well she lied to the evaluator regarding her advanced education, but it didn't seem to matter. My attorney argued with me and said that the judge would never terminate the support since it was a long-term marriage. He had me sign a non-modifiable order that has me paying her a certain amount for the next 5 years and then the support goes to zero. He said this way, no matter how much I make, she will not get more. He said this was a very good deal. I think he was wrong, but he said it would turn out worse if I go in front of the judge. Most of the jobs I have had (except for mobilization for active duty), have been contract jobs and my current one ends next June and I am not sure if it will be renewed.
One of the reasons she said she cannot work is because she had a stroke (TIA)a few months ago. She had Cushings and was in the hospital for a while. She is getting around now and just two months ago, she took three vacations within one month including an 8-day trip to Maui. I knew she would use her medical condition to get out of working. She is driving all over the place with no problems. She basically used me and the children to buy her a lifetime of support and will never have to work. In 5 years when the support ends, she can go back in to court and try to get more. I will also be eligible to start collecting my reserve retirement at that time and unfortunately, the state stupidly and selfishly considers it property, so she gets more free money then for not ever having to do a thing.
I am also rated by the VA at 100% disabled and spend 4-5 hours a day in traffic because of my obligation to pay her. She is fully capable of working and chooses not to. I am very frustrated at this point.
As far as the kids go, my son still won't talk to me and my daughter seems to think my only purpose in life is to shell out money. My kids have no respect for me or for the sacrifices I have made. They used to adore me.
