Clearly the respect my W had for me is gone. My W still chooses to be friends with OM against my wishes. She could careless how this makes me feel, which prior to the A she wouldn't have done. Still feel that there is an EA still happening at least. I just know that unless I can get back that respect, then I don't have a chnace of getting W back
So, are you saying that prior to the A she showed a measurable level of respect toward you?
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Also I just need to get back the respect for myself first and foremost. Somewhere down the line I became passive to my W, which is odd. Because in all other aspects in my life, I am far from passive. And DB'ing probably made me even more passive. I'm doing great with the 180's and GAL, but how do I deal with her disrespect without arguing? Unless arguments when dealing with a WW is inevitable when demanding respect.
Interesting. What was there about DBing that caused you to be even more passive? Maybe your explanation will help alert others who struggle with the same issue.
I will say this much, when a man is passive to point of not making decisions that the head of the home would normally make.......and/or if you would not at least speak up with an opinion when you and your W were faced with decisions........then she felt it was left to her. There's a difference in making a joint decision, from one spouse (who is suppose to lead) lays back and goes mute.......forcing the other spouse to step up and take the role of leader. And when a wife has to do that......she doesn't feel much attraction for a H who chose not to participate. And she probably did not feel supported, if you remained passive. I can't stress enough how unattractive it is for a male to take a passive role. It puts him in a submissive role in his home.
Are you and your W still living together?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
